The next issue of the Intercultural Link Newsletter (volume 3, issue 3) will be released very soon and we wanted to give you a sneak peak at some of the articles in this issue. We hope you enjoy the article below!
Concepts & Theories
CREATIVE CONFLICT MANAGEMENT
This is an adaptation of Dr. Marianella Sclavi’s article “Why humour matters in Active Listening?” (2005). Marianella Sclavi is an Italian sociologist and professor of Ethnography and Art of Listening at the Politecnico University in Milan. She received a bachelor’s degree in Intercultural Communication from Johns Hopkins University, USA, and a master’s degree in Sociology from Trent University, Italy. She has published eight books related to her specialization in conflict management and active listening, and has also been involved in urban renewal projects for low-income neighborhoods across Europe.
Before talking about what Creative Conflict Management means, a few points must be made clear. First, Creative Conflict Management is an important part of successful intercultural communication; second, an intercultural approach is necessary when confronting any difficult conflict; and third, even in a situation where the conflict is not obviously intercultural, if you perceive it as intercultural, the conflict can be approached as one. More and more often we find intracultural conflicts that are more intercultural than a lot of intercultural conflicts. Think of a conflict with a mother-in-law, which, not by chance, so often becomes the focus of jokes and cartoons, and you are already in the presence of a typical intra/intercultural conflict. That is: a conflict that, only if approached with an intercultural eye, can be transformed, perhaps, in a way that both parties may judge positively.
Active Listening is the very foundation for Creative Conflict Management. To explain this, the parable of the wise judge is useful: two citizens bring their case before a judge who listens to the first man with all his attention before responding: “You are right.” Then, the judge listens to the second man with the same amount of attention and says: “You are right.” Someone from the crowd is confused: “Your honor, how can they both be right?” The judge pauses for a minute before responding, “And you too are right.”
Gregory Bateson’s theory helps us to understand this parable. His ideas are about “frames,” or contexts. There are many things we consider when we make a decision. These things can be within the same frame (or context), or they can change their context completely. When the context is changed completely, we have to work harder to understand the situation. More specifically, we have to examine ourselves. If we examine ourselves, we are able to be aware of the existence of these frames, or contexts.
Remember that what we see depends on our point of view. It is necessary to accept the possibility of two viewpoints existing for the same situation that are both correct. If a student wants his teacher to change the deadline for an essay, and the teacher will not, one person might view the teacher as inflexible. However, another person might view the student as trying to break the rules and see this action as unacceptable.
People around the world have a tendency to think their context is the best and because of this they can sometimes develop a “context blindness,” which means they deny or ignore the context. This phenomenon is more common in Western cultures than Eastern cultures due to Westerners’ emphasis on there being one single truth and striving for objective perspectives. However, these practices limit one’s communication and conflict resolution skills when it is the perspective of context itself that is the problem. In this case, Westerners could have more difficulty managing a conflict because the basis of the conflict is outside their perception.
To be an Active Listener, you must always be thinking that the other person is right and that it is you who is not able to understand them. This causes you to 1) respect the other person and 2) assume they are intelligent. It is important to keep in mind that one thing can have two completely opposite meanings when in different cultural contexts. You must keep in mind that misunderstandings, frustration, and especially awkwardness and vulnerability are natural feelings to experience during intercultural communication and Creative Conflict Management.
Sigmund Freud describes a set of steps experienced by Active Listeners: Phase 1: Bewilderment (and annoyance) at something that at first appears to make no sense. Phase 2: First Illumination, suddenly we understand the hidden meaning. Phase 3: Second Illumination, when we realize that something has been able to fool us, or was beyond our immediate understanding. This third phase is where humour is important. As an Active Listener, you will realize your mistake, which allows you to laugh at yourself and your confusion. At this moment, your self-awareness is an essential part of Active Listening and Creative Conflict Management. These three things (Self-awareness, Active Listening, and Creative Conflict Management) are essential qualities for good intercultural communication and they are interconnected and related to one another.
When Active Listeners think about a situation, they are keeping the entire context in mind. They try to think of how things are related and interdependent, and they are always examining themselves and trying to be self-aware. With these strategies, they are able to communicate well in environments with many contexts, or “frames.”
From all this information, we can understand that the most effective way to communicate is to be conscious of the context you are in, be self-aware, and be an Active Listener. These three qualities are the ingredients for effective intercultural communication.