Interacting with long-term sojourners on a daily basis can be challenging in the best of times and confusing and frustrating at other times. Looking at a situation from a different perspective can help you understand and work through these with fresh eyes and new ideas. Actively considering different viewpoints is the basis of Intercultural Learning.
How do you approach life? Do you need facts before you are ready to believe something is true or are you simply able to accept it as so? In other words, do you engage in the doubting game or in the believing game?
If you tend to need proof or facts to believe something is real or true, you are playing the doubting game. This is also referred to as a separate way of knowing because you are concerned with validity and use objective techniques to analyze and evaluate, rather than using emotions and intuition. In essence, the doubting approach requires one to remove all personal bias and take on the role of examiner. It can mean taking a position you do not necessarily agree with, which in some cultures is known as “playing devil’s advocate.”
On the other hand, if you are able to accept something is true without first determining factually or analytically if it is true or false, then you are engaged in the believing game. This is also known as connected knowing, since you are concerned with needing to learn and understanding meaning, not judging or analyzing. For example, separate knowers are of the opinion that the primary purpose of university studies is to prepare you for a career, whereas connected knowers believe that university is an opportunity to train and broaden the mind.
Separate knowers, or doubters, typically use logical analysis to work out a challenge or difference of opinion. They will be objective and argue their views debate-style. They believe logic and reason will help them understand personal situations that might arise, such as with an AFS sojourner or volunteer, for example. Facts are gathered and analyzed, at which point decisions are made on how to proceed with the situation. The desired result is what is best based on information gathered.
Conversely, it is common for those who play the believing game to approach a new situation or interaction with strong trust. This trust often transforms into empathy for another’s experience, and eventually reaches a point at which one’s own thinking changes to include a new point of view that is reached through understanding and personal experience. The opinions of others are never seen as wrong because they are based on that person’s experience. Connected knowers do not judge but merely seek to understand. The key to the believing game is waiting and patience.
Working in a group of connected knowers, or believers, one engages in collaborative exploration. The personality of each member adds to the group and their vision is then modified to include the other members’ visions. As a result, the sum of the whole vision is richer than that from each individual.
Why are separate and connected knowing important? To answer this question for yourself, we invite you to participate in a personal application activity: Challenge yourself to view a situation through the other way of knowing, the one you typically do not use when approaching a new situation. If you tend to rely on the doubting game, try to ask yourself, “What does this mean?”, and if you naturally use the believing method, ask yourself, “What facts demonstrate that this is true?”
By exploring and learning how to develop ideas in both manners, you can discover different ways of interpreting and being connected with AFS sojourners, families and volunteers, helping them figure out what they want and need rather than telling them what you believe they need.
Manon Prévost-Mullane, Intercultural Learning Intern, AFS International